The Duc Pond

I’m getting kinda depressed over this. Don’t feel like sleeping. And I haven’t even been laid off yet! I know I’m overreacting. I don’t have a mortgage. Or car payments. Or kids! And I didn’t start just a few months ago! But what I do have is a job I enjoy, especially lately. It’s so close to home. The people at work are great. Even if Brian wasn’t there, I’d still rate my group of coworkers very, very highly. They’re smart, capable, and good to talk to. Each with their own interesting personalities. I was doing work I enjoyed and learning a lot of things that will undoubtedly help me in the future. I mean, why shouldn’t I lament losing this job?

I didn’t feel this bad earlier because I guess I still had the last layoff in mind. I survived the August slashing, so I guess I couldn’t help feeling that there was a chance I’d survive this one too. And sure, there certainly is a chance. But it’s definitely small. Things are far more dire this time and this realization is finally hitting me. I knew I was lucky to have this job. If it weren’t for Mrs. Leichtnam, I never would have interned there and gotten hired. And if I hadn’t known Brian and Catherine, and helped Catherine in school, I never would have known Mrs. Leichtnam. I knew I was a lucky guy. But I was still getting complacent. We were hiring, after all. Things certainly seemed stable.

Whether or not I lose my job, this will end up being good for me. I had resolved a while ago that I’d always be responsible with my money and always have a 3-6 month emergency fund in cash. I haven’t really stuck to that. I suppose I have a fund now, but most of it is definitely not cash. But now I know that this is something I NEED to have. I will put up with crappy houses or apartments. I will drive my cars forever and replace them with used ones. I should have learned my lesson just from reading about troubles that other people have had. This scare should really knock the lesson into me. I hope I follow it this time, and not wait for something far worse to come my way.

Right now I’m just looking forward to seeing friends this weekend and the next few weekends. I know, I’ve been complaining about being busy. But that’s because I’m a retarded bastard. Another thing keeping my spirits up is my little plan to start doing web pages for some local businesses. I’ll try to give it a shot. Can’t hurt to try!